Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Star Wars Rap

I've got little to add other than I love the Billie Dee scenes.

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Herpes Outbreak

Actually this herpes outbreak does not concern Paris Hilton but instead Minnesota high school wrestling. High school wrestling was suspended for the entire state of Minnesota due to an outbreak of herpes called "herpes gladiatorum" that is transferred from skin contact. I imagine it has to suck to have to say, "So yeah I got herpes from wrestling this guy. . . "

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

I was contacted about appearing in this film

Sadly due to schedule conflicts I had to decline.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Weekly Theme Music

Another Disclaimer. Sometimes I make picks just to build Karma with the Football Gods. So I do things like pick against the teams I want to win thinking it will help them win. So here's this weeks picks. Also how great is the drummers white man 'fro?

Patriots over Colts
Bears over Saints.

That would be the worst superbowl ever. However Colts-Saints would be the greatest non-Giants game in history.

Friday, January 19, 2007

The End Of Adam LaGross

In an exciting move for at least me and most Braves fans the team agreed to part ways with last years starting first baseman Adam "LaGross" LaRoche this week. The Braves get to part ways with error prone, ADD suffering, lazy, unproductive first baseman who struggles mightily against left handed pitching and has never stolen a base in 400 career games. He finished the season on a high note and the Braves took the chance to sell high.

The beauty of this is not only do the Braves get rid of LaGross but pick up the best player in the deal. GM's usually will tell you your better off getting the best player in the deal if you want to be happy with it long term. Well the Braves picked up stellar closer Mike Gonzalez who converted a ridiculous 24 saves in 24 save opportunities. And if he hadn't played for the dreadful Pirates he would of had many more save opportunities to apply that 100% conversion rate to. This trade means the Braves biggest weakness from last year is now their biggest strength with the additions of Gonzalez, Rafael Soriano, and Bob Wickman. They now have three proven closers to apply at the end of the games and can make sure none of them get over worked. Which will pay huge dividends for Smoltz and Hudson as they won't have to feel like they have to throw complete games to get a win. (Smoltz of course ended the year tied with the most wins in the NL and without all the blown saves might have won the Cy Young.)

Of course to facilitate the trade two minor leaguers were included. Which makes this so much better since the player going to the Braves was the much higher thought of of the two. Schuerholz seems to have the ole magic working again. Lets just say I'm happy with this trade.

George Jung He Is Not

Falcons quarterback Michael "Ron Mexico" Vick recently attempted to board a commercial airplane while smuggling marijuana. Vick was apparently unaware of the TSA's ban on liquid carry on's enacted months ago as he tried to conceal the illegal drug inside a water bottle. Allegedly the water bottle had a special secret compartment behind the label. The best part is that apparently airline officials only got suspicious after he argued profusely against just throwing the bottle away. This plan was so dumb it's something you would expect in a Sean William Scott or Ashton Kutcher movie. Defiantly the mastermind you want running a pro offense. Needless to say Falcons officials are not happy with the publicity of this move. (Let the Matt Shaub debate begin!)
Lets just say I'd prefer to have my team lead by a karaoke superstar than the worst drug mule in history.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Eli Manning Karaoke Star

As an admitted Eli homer I figured it would look bad overlooking these recent photos. Not that I think singing karaoke relates to poor performance or anything like that. Just poor taste in entertainment choices.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Expect To See More Sacks In 2007

In the biggest move of the Ogerzook tenure John Thompson was hired as defensive coordinator for the Rebels. Thompson brings solid credentials to the position and should immediately upgrade the defensive side of the football and help the Rebels next year more than any recruit that Ogerzook could sign.

Some argue that his schemes are figured out like Joe Lee Dunn. I don't see it and don't know what the basis for that is. His two failed years as the head coach at East Carolina? Joe Lee's problem was that he failed in the one true test for how good a coach is and that is that he failed to evolve his system to what players he had. It wasn't as much that he was "figured out." People always knew how to handle his defenses. It's just that it took a lot of speed to run his defense. Speed he didn't have at the end of his State years and never had a Memphis. The true test for Thompson is whether he can take the players on campus and run an effective defense with them. If the answer is yes than expect even bigger things after he has a bigger imprint on the players brought to campus.

However even if Thompson flops horribly this shows me that we have a chance to move in the right direction and get better. It shows that Ogerzook will place his ego aside and do what's best for the team. If Thompson doesn't work than we'll hire another defensive coordinator. This is a move that Ogerzook would not have made two years ago when Mazone was not allowed to run his own offense. He's realized that if he wants to get better he has to surround himself with coordinators that free him to do his job, be the head coach. It also shows that his desire to win and be a make Ole Miss successful is stronger than his personal desires and he will make decisions that are in the university's best interest while not technically his. Or maybe I'm reading to much into this.

Either way today his made a huge step in the right direction. And that direction is hiring a defensive coordinator. Luckily the defensive coordinator is someone I think highly of and think will bring immediate respect to this defense.

Friday, January 12, 2007

John Thompson Inspired Weekly Theme Music

Just Because I hope the Rebels are the next to be with him.

11 SEC Coaches Are Staying Alive

I have to say I've never enjoyed the Bee Gees this much.

Attempts at Journalistic Credibility

I've noticed that almost all real sports journalists make weekly pics. Especially those on the radio. So I've decided to make weekly picks on Friday's around the time I post the weekly theme music. I'll mainly stick to football picks because I just really don't want to nor do I know anyone who picks individual regular season baseball or basketball games. That and other than the one year I correctly had Maryland winning the national championship I barely edge out the Wookiedog's NCAA brackets. These picks are straight up and not against the spread and without further ado:

Seahawks over Bears
Patriots over the Super Chargers
Ravens over the Colts
Saints over the Eagles.

(Disclaimer: I would not advise using these for gambling purposes because whenever asked for picks to assist in gambling purposes my picks always go horribly wrong. Just ask the Bithian Captain Sweatpants of the Texas-Oklahoma State game.)

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Ogerzook's Biggest Recruit Ever

Word has it that Ogerzook has pushed his ego aside and is now making a run at hiring a defensive coordinator. That alone is some of the best news I've heard since well Peter Mayhew signed on appear in Revenge of the Sith. This is the move that would allow Ogerzook to concentrate on the thing he does best . . . er the thing he does well and recruit. This is the number one best thing that could happen to give us a good team in the next couple of years.

And the news just gets better.

The man he's trying to get is none other than John "Blitz' n" Thompson whose all out blitzing style made him a dynamic coordinator at Arkansas, then at Florida, and then again at South Carolina with Superior along with an unfortunate run as the head coach at East Carolina. He's now serving as the athletic director of the Sugar Bears at his alma mater Central Arkansas. I remember days of living in the basement on my native planet dreaming of his acquisition during the early Cut years. Supposedly he wants to get back into coaching he is just not sure he wants to continue moving around the country.

Come on Ogerzook. This is the sale that will make or break your career.

"Its make the sale or hit the bricks."

Ole Miss Girls Are Hot

And according to CBS Sportsline Reporter Clay Travis they are the hottest in the SEC.
I'm sure Mary Ann Mobley, Lynda Lee Mead, Susan Akin, and Kate Jackson are proud.
I still firmly believe that most of these lovely ladies don't actually go to the university but get brought in to appear on game day in the grove to help recruiting efforts. (At least I noticed a difference in numbers during the week as these lovely ladies never seemed to appear in my classical wookie studies classes.)

Ive got to say he was a little rough on the Kentucky girls. Well at least they show up well on television. I've never actually been to Lexington. And I do know of at least one hot lady who graduated from StarkVegas. Of course she's a lady wookie and that might not do it for everyone.

Waterfowl Enthusiast Discover New Duck

Coughlin watch ended after a mere day. Which is surprising since the Giants decided to retain Coughlin. The team owners acknowledged that the fans wanted a move but said they had to do what they felt was in the best interest of the team based on their years of experience. If this is the right decision is debatable but they were defiantly right that the fans wanted a change. Actually the owners didn't show too much confidence either only giving Coughlin a one year extension putting Coughlin in a definite lame duck situation. This of course will make replacing coordinators difficult since who wants to saddle up to take a position when the whole staff will get replaced in a year after Coughlin's third midseason collapse in his four years as coach.

Tuesday, January 9, 2007

Coughlin Watch Begins

Now that the Giants got bounced out of the playoffs. . . Playoffs? Playoffs? the Giants are set to determine whether or not to make a coaching change. Running the most bland offensive ever, player discontent, lack of discipline, and huge numbers of penalities have lead to Coughlin getting a lot of heat from the media and his own players. Word inside the orgainzation is that a decision will be released by at least Thursday. All signs point to the Giants deceding to make a move as Coughlin declined to do his Monday Post Game Press Conference. The most intresting rumor on his possible successor is Norm Chow, current offensive coordinator of the Tennessee Titans who has a reputation for making great quarterbacks in order to help the development of Eli.

In other news concerning Giants player development, current General Manager Ernie Acorsi is retiring in a matter of months also leaving the Giants with a vacant general manager position. Thought is they may hold off on nameing a new coach until picking a new GM so that he can have some imput. Looks like the Giants may go in house and promote Jerry Reese since sadly the Giants number one candidate, Scott Pioli, declined an interview for the promotion from the vice president of player personell with the New England Patriots. Also rumored for the job is NFL analysist Stephen Major Perkins. At least he has not denied intrest yet. However the even more intresting rumor is that Pioli's father in law, the Big Tuna himself, has floated his name to the team because of his desire to move on from coaching and into a GM position. (partly to get away from TO.) I for one would love to see him return to the organization in any possible connection. His impute on the Patriots draft gave the Patriots most of the core players that won Belichick three super bowls.

Monday, January 8, 2007

In Honor Of The Playoffs Starting This Weekend

A Conversation Between Allen Iverson and Jim Mora

A Wookie On Sports Interview Exclusive

Recently the Sports Wookie was invited to Minneapolis to interview a former Rebel great whose prowess on the offensive line is only exceeded by his great moral character and generosity. Of course the Sports Wookie is biased because of free tickets to the Vikings last regular season game, (Sadly a pretty rough 42-21 loss) and we exited the game to three inches of snow and below thirty weather. Good thing I had my natural fur coat.
But getting to see Vikings fans was a treat all in of itself. They are a lot like LSU fans, purple pimp costumes and all, but really friendly. (I realize that sounds like an antithesis.)

They have a lot of different characters from the guy who carries around a thirty pound viking statute to the guys dressed in fur skins and carrying viking horns. Everyone all wears the same shade of purple and no one wears yellow. A lot of people wear players jersey's but since the team doesn't have a marque name right now (other than anonymous offensive linemen) there was a great variety of players represented including Bullethead. My favorite though had to be the lady we assumed was Jim Kleinsasser's mom. She played what I believed was a magical horn after every big play to summon Jim to big plays.

After the game I had the opportunity to sit down with Marcus for a hard hitting interview.

The Sports Wookie: Who do you think will win the Super Bowl?
Marcus Johnson: With the way the Patriots are playing and with Brady and Belichick I think they sneak through the playoffs and win another. (Editor's note: The Sports Wookie is going with the Ravens.
TSW: Did you make it to any Ole Miss games this year?
MJ: No, our off weak this year they were playing away.
TSW: Did you get to see any games?
MJ: Yeah I got to watch the Alabama game.
TSW: What are your thoughts on the team?
MJ: They started off pretty sorry and I didn't think much of them but then they started playing pretty good and sounded dramatically improved and looked pretty tough.
TSW: Thoughts on next year?
MJ: With they way they finished this year I think they'll be alright next year.

I wanted to follow that up with what he had heard from Bryant McKinnie about Art Kehoe and his impact on the Offensive Line and whether he ever had the urge to rip peoples arms out of their sockets but our waitress brought the next tray of chicken wings and our interview was cut off prematurely.

Wednesday, January 3, 2007

Ogerzook Needs A New Yearly Moral Victory

Bama just made a huge splash on the college football landscape to make a triumphant return to big time elite program status. This is one of the biggest hires in years and what makes it even bigger is that they focused on Saban to the point that if they failed to pull him in than they would have lost a lot of face and taken many steps back in the SEC.

Look for Bama to dramatically inprove just next year. They have enough talent, and with his ability, to win 9 games next year. Expect even bigger in 3 years. After that he'll probably go back to the pros to make some more money.

Go ahead and get ready for the photoshops of Saban wearing a houndstooth hat and leaning against a goal post. Bama fans are about to get crazy. In fact theyare already fanatical. But then who can blame them. They just hired a proven winner of a head coach who has a national championship ring from serving as the teams head coach not D-Line/Put Up The Team Coach.

This could also lead to some trouble for the Mississippi schools to keep recruits in state. They already lost a lot of kids to LSU when Saban coached there. Look for them to turn east as Saban takes adavantage of his Southern connections he made there.

The fun thing to come out of all of this will be the frustration it gives the coonies down in Baton Rouge. They've never really accepted Les Miles and always saw him as a step below Saban but they best they could get while Saban was at the pro level. Now Saban is their western conference rival and they'll get to look forward to facing him every year. This will undoubtably lead to a much shorter leash for him. He'll be the only coach to sit on the hot seat next year even after going to a BCS bowl game.