Elvish Magic

After the choke job the Rebels turned in Saturday night, which coach Kennedy called the worst performance of the season, the Rebels might have killed their chances at the Big Dance. According to multiple sources the Rebels chances at making the NCAA Tourney took a big hit and will take something magical for the Rebs to get in. Luckily one of the Rebels' leading scorers is an elf and elves are capable of performing magic right?

Do You Believe In Miracles. Well Then So Do I.

Weekly Theme Music

In honor of the LeBrock scoring system we turn to the classic 80's music video diva Tawny Kitaen.

And now that 80's week is over we turn our focus to Rebel Basketball. Hopefully here the Rebels go again on their way to the NCAA tourney.

80's Week Review - Mr. Mom

80's Week Culminated with a solid film staring Michael Keaton Mr. Mom. The movie had a lot of genuine laughs and was actually a pretty solid film. It still had a very 80's feel and presented plenty of unintentional 80's comedy over the 80's business attire, appliances, and family vehicles. Keaton also gave a solid performance.

Mr. Mom - 4 LeBrocks!

80's Week Review- Dream A Little Dream

This might be the worst movie ever. Its so bad and you can't even enjoy making fun of it. After laughing at the stupid wardrobe choices of the Corey's in the first few minutes even that gets old. And Feldman's Michael Jackson obsession is just plain weird and not funny itself.

I'm also starting a rating category for 80's movies. Movies will get zero to four "LeBrocks" based on their enjoyablity which is not to be confused with quality of the film making.
The name comes from the ultimate creation of the ultimate 80's Week Movie Weird Science which was featured at the original 80's Week Festival.

So to rap up the week thus far:
Dream A Little Dream - Zero LeBrocks
Police Academy 3 - 4 LeBrocks
Legend - 2 LeBrocks
RoboCop - 2 LeBrocks
Do Or Die - 3 LeBrocks
(Bad explosions. 4 LeBrocks.
Cheesy Lines - 4 LeBrocks.
Estrada - 4 LeBrocks Gratuitous Costume Changes - Zero LeBrocks. Average 3 LeBrocks)

80's Week Review - Legend

The second offical installment of 80's week occured with Ridley Scott's Legend. An odd film with Tom Cruise as a woodboy fighting Keith Richards inspired goblins and Tim Curry's Lord Of Darkness. Cruise is assited by a group of elves including Bam Doyne. Scott credited a bunch of pot smokers for causing him to shorten the film dramatically but has as of yet failed to credit the drug with inspiring much of the movie.

Do Or Die - 80's Week Review!

The week got off to a rousing start with 1985's Do Or Die staring Pat Morita and Erik Estrada.

Do Or Die was a fast paced action romp complete with espionage, assassions, explosions, and gratuitous costume changes that the lady wookie didn't much care for.

Coach O even made a cameo as a helicopter flying assassin. Morita went against typecasting to play the evil smuggler who wants two agents and Erik Estrada dead. Only he didn't count on Estrada having a major league pitching arm. The film was apparently made before computer techonology was cheap and easy as the computer monitors are faked by using maps with lights imbeded in them.

Estrada and the ladies returned to film a sequel Guns! which might have to get some 80's week 2008 consideration.

The Grand Tradition Of 80's Week Begins

Tonight around the World the week long annual event to pay tribute to past cinematic glory begins! People are suggested to congregate in groups and share in the joy of watching mediocre films of the 80's for a solid week to breathe some excitement into the dreary sportsless days of late February.

Here are the Ten Rules Of 80's Week so that you can start a festival in your remote part of the world. With choice libations, pick five movies based on the Rules, and enjoy.

I. Legit movies that you would normally rent on your own, while released during the 80's are not allowed. Ex. Indiana Jones, Chariots of Fire, Blues Brothers, 48 Hrs, Trading Places, Rambo.
II. One Movie must be a cheesy film involving wacky aliens or robots. Ex. Batteries Not Included, Short Circuit
III. Nostalgic kids movies are allowed considering they don't violate rule I. Ex. Weird Science not Ferris Bueller's Day Off.
IV. Avoid movies that come on TBS every weekend. Again see Ferris Bueller's Day Off.
V. No strictly chick flicks. Ex. Dirty Dancing.
VI. One movie must solely be based upon the absurdity of the box/ poster that no one has seen, with good reason.
VII. One movie must include a Corey/Cory/Korey.
VIII. If at all possible include Steve Guttenberg.
IX. Try to find at least one movie that includes an ex wrestler, football player, washed up TV star or Mr. T.
X. All movies must have been released from 1980-1989.

This Could Be Awkward

Word is that Tom Brady just found out he's supposed to be a dad. Bridget Moynahan is reportedly three months pregnant. Problem is that she broke up with Brady two months ago and just found out. Now Brady is reportedly dating Leonardo DeCrapio's left overs, err, ex-girlfriend Gisele Bundchen. Brady better be glad she's from New England or he'd be facing a good old fashion shotgun wedding in spite of Gisele.

Weekly Theme Music

With 4 cut Giants and two retirements the winds of change have hit the G-men. Additionally with a new recruiting class in the bag and the Basketball team "winning" games change has hit the Rebs as well.

The Anti Valpo

I thought it was lost after Bam! got rejected. What an amazing steal out of Smith. Huge shot by Clarence. Robert "Big Shot Rob" Horray-esque.

Tiki! Today!

Shortly after filing for retirement Monday Tiki Barber announced a new deal to join the cast of NBC's Today! Show. He'll start off with small stories but soon he will control the entire show. At least I hope. Part of his agreement with NBC is that he'll join Jerrome Bettis, Chris Collingsworth, Sterling Sharpe and Bob Costas as part of the Sunday Night NFL coverage.

The real question is whether on not Vieira and Lauer will treat him like a rookie at training camp when he reports in April. I'm looking forward to, "And now lets take it to Tiki who's covering an exciting Cat Fashion Show! Oh, aren't they adorable Tiki?"

"Bloody Monday" Strikes New Jersey

The Giants cut three veteran players Monday afternoon. A fourth player retired to avoid getting cut. One, Carlos Emmons, was completely expected because of his lack of productivity, decline in speed, and being prone to injury. However the other two former first round draft choices were shocking. The starting left tackle until he broke his leg Luke Petitgout was surprisingly released since he was playing well previous to the injury. Also the options the Giants attempted after his injury did not play well. Additionally LaVar "Voltron" Arrington was cut. Arrington only played six games for the Giants before rupturing his Achilles tendon. This move was surprising since he signed a high incentive contract so that he wouldn't cost much and since it was the first year of the deal he'll actually hurt cap space.

There is also strong speculation that three more players, Chad Morton, Frank Walker, and Tim Carter will be released soon as well. Possibly as soon as Morton gets back from his honeymoon. (Update) In fact Chad Morton was released on Tuesday.

New Giants GM Jerry Reese is certainly putting his stamp on the team. Speculation is that he is high on Left Guard David Deihl who started at left tackle for the last two games and feels he could play it on a permanent basis. Either way neither Arrington or Petitgout were not terribly expensive so the Front Office must have medical information that shows they are not worth the risk.

Additionally this enables the Giants to go after a big name free agent. Further showing faith in Deihl is that they are not any big name tackle options on the market. The best names for the Giants are cornerbacks Asante Samuel and Nate Clements. It also will change the draft strategy now as the Giants will have to look for getting depth there on the offensive line and at linebacker.

Patrick Willis maybe?

Coach Of The Year

New Rebel Coach Andy Kennedy deserves major consideration for SEC Coach of the Year. He's blowing expectations out of the water in his first season running a hybrid version of his system so that it fits with Barnes' players. I was hoping to make the NIT but he's already got the Rebels on the tourney bubble and leading the SEC West years before anybody thought it could happen. I was on the bandwagon before but after the Bama game I'm riding shotgun.

Weekly Theme Music

Sadly after the Super Bowl football is just Dust in the Wind until August.

Disaster Strikes Oxford

Signing day came and went Wednesday with the Rebels adding 20 additional players. (The Rebs also added 4 midsemester transfers and resigns.) It wasn't near the class expected by most. In fact the class mostly fell apart at the 11th hour. While the "I'm In" crowd is doing their best spin control little good can be said of the final outcome. The class also did a poor job of addressing needs at cornerback, offensive line, quarterback, and tightend.

A quick caveat I will not badmouth any recruit by name here as I feel like that is in bad taste.

The Rebels lost 2 commitments to Miss. State on signing day. This was only part of the overwhelming defections. Some were grade inspired but for some reason Big 12 champion Oklahoma and Alabama were able to take a chance on players that our staff believed were too risky. In fact here is a total list of one time commitments that were sadly many of our best prospects that signed with other schools and where they signed.
Robert Elliott - MSU
LaMarcus Williams - MSU
Drake Nevis - LSU
Stevan Ridley - LSU
Dion Gales - Troy State
Allen Bell - Iowa State
Alex Williams - Oklahoma
Jeramie Griffith - Alabama
Larry Dennis - University of Nevada At Las Vegas
Darnell Williams - University of Southern Florida
Stanley Porter - Arkansas State
Paul Henry - Arkansas State

Of course the biggest story from signing day was that Robert Elliott, who committed to the Rebels last February, signed with State because he felt the Rebel staff wasn't honest with him by telling he was their guy and then telling Joe McKnight the same thing. He said that if they were just recruiting another running back he wouldn't care but that he felt the coaches were being dishonest with him. That and MSU gave him the chance to "Rock the 2" in that he would not have to where a double digit number but continue to sport his highschool number 2.
Recruiting Coordinator Hugh Freeze said on the radio Wednesday night that while runningback was not a necessity the Rebels will have to sign a juco running back next year since they failed to add one this year. The frustrating thing about this is that the Rebels had a top ten ranked running back committed but lost him by their own screwing around. A Rodian friend of my said it best when he compared the situation to having having a super hot girlfriend in the bed and getting dressed to go out and see if you have a chance with Pamela Anderson (or the supermodel of your preference).

Where the defections took the highest toll on this class was on the offensive line. This was one of the greatest needs again for the class and sadly was mostly unmet. Paul Henry and Alex Williams were the two highest rated offensive lineman that committed to the Rebels leaving the Rebels with projects. The staff publicly stated previously that they felt it was a position of such great importance that they would sign six new players. The Rebels added 3 with one Juco midsemester transfer. In two years the Staff has now brought in 5 new highschool offensive lineman. And one of those played Defensive Tackle on the scout team last season.

The Rebels also desperately needed to bring in a star tightend or possibly two. Everybody loves to score with a Tight End. Showing how they were concerned with the depth last year they signed a Juco tightend who left the team after spring training. Going into next year the only Tightends with any experience will be seniors Robert Lane and Robert Hough. Beyond them is one walk on and possibly Cecil Frison if he gets moved back. The Rebels did add one Tightend, David Rue out of Monroe, LA, who did not draw any interest from another SEC team and choose the Rebels over Louisiana Tech.

Additionally the Rebels did not sign a quarterback this year. Last year everyone said the Rebels had to sign an elite quarterback this year. Now everyone says its actually next year that the Rebels have to sign an elite quarterback partly because of the transfer of Jevan Snead. However Snead will transfer in as a sophmore after playing at Texas and will not count as a quarterback for this class.

Quarterback is a position that has to be addressed every year. This was the mistake that Cutcliffe made. If you wait and sign one every few years then you dig yourself a hole where the one you signed has to pan out. If you have gaps and one turns out to be more athlete than quarterback you find yourself with no quarterback and scrambling the jucos for a signal caller. As we've seen this year junior college is not where you want to look for a quarterback. Especially if you want to run any kind of complicated offense. In all honesty, thought, I have to say I'd prefer not to sign a quarterback at all than sign one who was recently arrested for possession of ecstasy.

Oddly the Rebels also didn't sign a single defensive end. However they recruited there so well last year it wasn't really a need but you still think they would have signed one for number balance. One area the Rebels desperately needed going into last year and failed to bring help was at Defensive tackle and this year they added three highschool tackles that should give some much needed depth.

There are some players that I'm really high on. Obviously its hard not to like signing the top rated player in the state in Eddie's nephew Chris Strong. If he keeps his weight down he'll be a solid linebacker like his uncle. Otherwise he'll be a solid defensive lineman. Either way he'll play. Johnny Brown, the only other dandy dozen player signed by the Rebels, looks to be a solid athlete that currently is projected to play in the defensive backfield. The coaches rated Roderick Davis as the top player in Memphis and he sounds like an elusive receiver that should really help the Rebels. Ted Laurent has Mr. T's mohawk and that's good enough for me. Tony Fein is the Juco Linebacker we desperately needed for depth after loosing Rory. Isaiah Smith is my sleeper of the class and I think he makes it on the field sooner than anyone is expecting. And Justin Sanders sounds like a really tough player that slated to help on the defensive line but I wouldn't be surprised if he moves to offense because of his frame.

One of the underlying problems of this class is that Ogerzook only signed 5 players from the State Of Mississippi. The State where the University is located. You can't argue that there was not other players worthy of scholarship offers. Members of the top ten and dandy dozen signed with Alabama, Auburn, Miami (FL), and LSU. 3 of the players signed by Ole Miss made the Clarion Ledger Top Ten , one was the son of a coach, and the other was not on the second team all state team. Of these players, two had family members that attended Ole Miss, one had a father on the coaching staff, and one grew up tailgating in the Grove. This is not a good way to build relations with coaches around the State of Mississippi. Coaches will soon feel like you are not taking care of your own kids. And in state is one of the few areas where you're supposed to have a built in advantage. No matter what anyone says you can't completely rely on out of state players since most of them were passed over by their instate schools. Which might be why we finished 9th in the SEC.

And Ogerzook only outrecruited Croom for one player in the State of Mississippi. On top of stealing two commitments on signing day Croom finished with more top ten players and more dandy dozen players. And these were players offered by Ogerzook. According to the Scouts.com rankings MSU actually signed a higher rated class. In fact Ole Miss finished in 9th place in the SEC only beating Arkansas, Kentucky, and Vanderbilt. So at best this class is treading water which is not a good thing if the water you're treading has 8 losses.

Finally the supposed expertise of the Ogerzook was supposed to be his ability to recruit. Instead this class turned out no better than one of Cutcliffe's and that's if everyone makes it into school which is a big question mark at this point. If one or two players don't qualify this class is beyond a disaster. In fact based on the scouts.com rankings the average Cutcliffe class was 32nd in the country. Scout rated this class 32. Awesome. We made a coaching change to go up zero spots in the rankings. This must all be part of Boone's master plan since he just gave Ogerzook an extension for the same stellar recruiting that he felt earned Cutcliffe's dismissal.

Big Signing Day Announcement

Multiple recruiting services number one rated running back is set to announce his decision to attend either the University of Mississippi, Louisiana State University, or the University of Southern California today at 11:00 on ESPNU. Early morning odds favor USC.

Players set to announce on signing day that Ole Miss was recruiting:
Joe McKnight - Signed with USC (updated)
Kelvin Bryant - Signed with the University of North Carolina
Roderick Davis - Signed With Ole Miss
Jonathan Frink - Signed With Stanford (updated)
Maurice Harris - Signed with Florida State University
Tommy Walker - Signed with Memphis (updated)
Rashod Mason - Signed with the University of North Carolina

In other news by early morning the Rebels have already lost the 3rd rated prospect in the state to Mississippi State University. Ole Miss also had defensive tackle LaMarcus Williams out of Bastrop, LA decommit and sign with MSU. The status of offensive line committ Paul Henry is also up in the air. (Update) Henry signed with Arkansas State.

Video Of Rex Grossman's superbowl performance

And the Sports Wookie would like to offer his heartfelt congratulations to the Indianapolis Colts.

Dr. Jones would be proud.

Man Attacks Tour Guide; Wookies Deny Involvement

Setting a record for the news article sent to me by the most people apparently some man dressed in a Wookie costume was arrested for assaulting a tour guide outside Grauman's Chinese Theater in Hollywood. He allegedly said, "Nobody tells this Wookie what to do."

The Wookie community has been quick to distance itself from these actions and point out that it was a Wookie impersonator. A real Wookie would have ripped the man's arms out of his sockets instead of some sort of sissy head butt.

Weekly Theme Music

As I alluded to earlier I think the Bear' O-line will win the battle of the trenches and keep the ball away from Peyton.

Bears over Colts.

(Lets just say I'm trying to jinx the Bears.)

Super Thoughts

The big game finally arrives Sunday.
The Sports Wookie officially announces he will be pulling for the Colts in this one because Grossman is a gross man. (See the pick below.)
And for Dr. Jones. Indy! Cover Your Heart!

Sadly the only player in the game with ties to the Rebel Alliance is backup offensive guard Terrence "Fancy Feet" Metcalf. Wouldn't mind seeing him get a ring and its certainly possible.

I personally think the line on the game is a little high and think it should be a pretty good game. This Bears team actually matches up really well with the Colts. Of course I said the same thing about the Ravens and it didn't seem to matter. The have a solid running game behind two good running backs and a solid offensive line and a very good defense albeit a defense missing one of its biggest cogs in Tommie Harris.

But as every analyst has beat into the ground, the Colts have difficulty stopping the run. Da' Bears weakness is the horrible play from the aforementioned quarterback Rex Grossman. However if the Bears can control the game by running the ball and keep Rexy out of obvious passing situations they can easily neutralize this. If the game stays close it actually plays in the Bears hands more since it keeps Rex from having to go into obvious passing series where Dwight Freeny and his boys can just all out blitz after Rexy. That's when he has his biggest problems is when D-linemen start hitting him around a little bit. He gets nervous and starts throw the ball to quickly before receivers have a chance to make their cuts or too early on timing patterns. However if the Colts get up early then the Bears have to have him make big plays to keep them in the game. Not just pull a Trent Dilfer and not loose the game. If the Bears get the running game going than it won't matter if Rexy's just daydreaming about the post game party.

So the biggest matchup in the game will be the IndyD-Line versus the Bear's O-Line. Whoever wins that match up should win the game. I imagine the Bears faithful really wish that Tommie Harris was available.

So the Pick? You'll have to wait for the Weekly Theme music to come out.

Andy Reid Will Not Win Father Of the Year

And no not because of the Philadelphia Eagle's head coach's perfect police regulation corner to corner mustache. While vacationing with the wife in California this week one of Reid's sons was arrested after he wrecked his SUV and the police found two used hypodermic needles and a triple beam scale. When questioned by police he admitted to using heroin earlier in the day as well as not having a clue what color the traffic light was or why he couldn't feel his nose. Ironically on the same day a few hours later a different 21 year old son who still lives with Coach Reid was arrested for pulling a handgun on a fellow motorist while having a fit of road rage. After arresting him they found bags with white powder residue, pills, medicine bottles with a leafy substance, and a sawed off shotgun in the car. This lead to the police getting a search warrant for Coach Reid's.

Wow this defiantly rivals the craziest party any kid ever through while their parents were out of town. This is crazier than any of the House Party movies. It's even crazier than the party in Weird Science where all the bikers show up and the rocket flies thought the house. Sadly after the incident officers were unable to explain how after Weird Science Kelly LeBrock killed her career, married Steven Segal, and got rather "large."

On second thought those results might be related.

Its Heating Up

And no we're not talking about Superbowl Week in Miami. The World's Leading Climate scientist have determined that global warming is caused by man in a released report this week. No mention of Wookies having any effect on global warming, assumably because Wookies are generally hippie enviromentalist. The report leaves a pretty bleak outlook as the planet looks to heat up until it turns into a firey volcanic world like Mustafar.

Saban in more hot water.

Saban was recently caught on tape telling an anecdote about a particular LSU fan's disgust with him going to western division rival. The fan compared it to certain relations that one's wife might have. Saban said, "He calls me. There was a guy working in the ditch, one of those coonass guys who talk funny. I can't talk like them, but he can. Most people in Louisiana can."

What's so funny about this is that LSU fans and anti-Bama fans are up in arms claiming how offended they are that he would say "coonass". When any non-LSU fan uses the term frequently and most Cajuns are not actually offended by the term. They just want the chance to sling more mud at Saban and its quite funny.

Either way I think it's hysterical that SEC coaches are calling LSU fans coonasses and hope this is a trend that picks up. I can't wait to hear Tuberville or Fulmer call out the coonass fans before a big game. Or where that could lead to Les Miles calling out Houston Nutt and Arkansas fans. Of course Ogerzook would have a tougher time than most using the term do to the whole "pot calling the kettle black" theory of hypocrisy. Maybe in the future head coaches will give mock interviews with Gene Okerlund where they call our their competition like in wrestling.

Bam!

Huge win for the Rebels Tuesday night and an even bigger performance by senior sensation guard Bam! Doyne. Bam! who was primarily a role playing bench performer through his Rebel career has stepped up this season to be the Rebels leader in points with a very solid season. I remember watching him as a freshman with a Shistavanen Wolfman friend of mine remarking on his speed and quickness. And the fact he looks like he weights 23 pounds. With shoes on. We thought he could one day be a solid player that played good defense but we never expected him to be the scorer he has become. He lead the Rebs again Tuesday night scoring 23 points and hitting crucial free throws at the end to seal the game.

Bam! has really benefited from Coach Kennedy's change in style of play and he has to get credit for bringing it out in him. Additionally the Rebels have show improvement this year with Kennedy and the future looks promising. The best quote I've heard from concern the fact that we don't have the guard depth he would like to run his system.
So instead he's adapting his system to use what talent he's got. Most notably he has a big man that doesn't run as fast as he'd like in Dwayne Curtis. Yet Dwayne has show that he can be a dominate player. So he tinkered his system to get Dwayne involved. Well it worked as he's having a solid season as well and scored 14 points Tuesday with 8 boards in beating State.

Even more importantly I've always said the number one test to see how good your coach is is when he's able to look at what talent he's got and figure out the best system to maximize the talent. When a coach can only run "his system" its usually a bad sign and you'll loose a lot of games where he's not maximizing potential and playing people out of position. It also shows he has the ability to remain creative and thus invent new ways to score if teams are stopping the regular game plan.




A couple of other Rebels had a pretty big game as well. Todd Abernathy came up huge leading the offense with 10 assists to go with his 19 points. Clarence Sanders also added 22 points playing though the most over used metaphor in sports broadcasting as the ESPN crew commented at least 100 times that his streakiness reminded them of a cheap motel shower as either too hot or too cold. Kenny Williams and his Isaac Hayes beard and Jeremy "funnier than Chris" Parnell mainly help the Rebels by just trying to neutralize their Nemesis Charles Rhodes.